Hey Itz Jazmine

Hello Tumblr! Long time no see!

I just wanted to get on again to post my story. #GetLucky

Get Lucky

Get Lucky

A few of my closest friends and I have an inside joke about how my life is like a teen drama show with all the mishaps that I deal with. Like many teenagers, I deal with the dramatic ups and downs of relationships while facing an array of issues thought to be typical of adolescence, such as complicated situations and moral conflicts with friends and romantic interests. We’ve asked each other what we would name this show and the title “Get Lucky” tended to stick.

One of my friends, somewhat of a misunderstood man-child, Chris has a sense of humor and obnoxious laughter that most find annoying and childish making it hard for him to relate to others. At first, I had a hard time as well, but the more we got to talk and know each other, the more our friendship grew. Eventually I became his best friend, but his mannerisms weren’t the only thing that drove me crazy. It was what happened between us just after a couple weeks that I had gotten out of a relationship – the third revelation of his unrequited feelings for me. I wanted to find ways for us to still be friends, but, at the same time, also help him get over me. At the climax of my despair and strong emotion, I suggested that we no longer see each other anymore as we often did. His automatic acceptance to this suggestion made me believe that he wasn’t interested in trying to work things out together. Then, we stopped talking. In time, we apologized and made up – but what ultimately prolonged our reunion was his fear of trying: to fight for and save our friendship.

Before the summer came, I grew tired of the little arguments between another friend of mine and myself after a while. Felix is the type to one-up you, so with each innocent joke or remark I made to poke a bit of fun at him, he would take it the wrong way. I admit he can be too sensitive, thus, resulting in the escalation of some situations to get back at me and hurt feelings at the end of it. I couldn’t stand the unnecessary combativeness that the arguing was bringing out of me and I didn’t like the negative direction that our friendship was heading. I’m sure that he didn’t mind though, it just meant how close we were as friends – but it’s not in my nature. It also didn’t help that he had confessed his nearly 1-year long kept secret crush on me that he failed to mention until Valentine’s Day, nearly a week after I had gotten out of that same relationship as mentioned before.

 I’ve had a long history with the both of these two boys. At one point, all three of us were very close friends who would hang out with each other almost every day – however, that oddly ended at the beginning of summer when we all drifted apart. Overall, I like both of them as friends; it just hurt me to be in a position that allowed them to be fixated on a girl who wasn’t going to like them back, and knowing that I was that girl.

One autumn night, Christopher, and I had arrived at Felix’s 20th birthday get-together at his house. As Chris and I entered the house, we walked through the dining room, where we found that the dining table was set up for beer pong games. Then we continued into the living room and kitchen, where our friends mingled and bottles of alcohol were laid out on the counter ready to be poured for shots. We were greeted by familiar friends and unfamiliar friends-of-friends. Among the new friends that I had met, one name rang a bell.

Back when Felix and I were closer, Felix had told me a scandalous story of a girl he was friends with that threw an incredible Christmas party the previous year. As the story goes, a girl named Ava threw a party for all her close friends while her parents were away. As the host of the party, she supplied the alcohol and entertainment, and then drank until she couldn’t drink any more. She met another girl at her party that she didn’t really know and they began talking. It was an encounter of lust and the absence of inhibitions that led Ava to make a move. It wasn’t until afterwards in which Ava learned the girl she met was her best friend’s crush. A meaningless one night stand became a triangle that Ava had no intentions to be a part of. (Weeks after Felix’s 20th birthday, I found out that all members of that triangle were present for Felix’s celebration.)

Unfortunately, Felix has a tendency to exaggerate and twist stories around sometimes, so I disregarded whatever I heard and watched Ava closely in order to have a real life impression of her. She was beautiful. She had a great smile and such presence that every time she walked into a room, everyone would notice.

The next person to join the festivities was Vincent. Vincent was the man that I was looking forward to seeing the most. We haven’t talked in months since we stopped dating, but somehow I made myself believe that I liked him again. I kept in mind the thought that maybe we could try again in the future. Even if we did break up on the day of my birthday party (the week before Valentine’s Day), I still thought about the good times we had together. All I wanted was to talk to him and just put myself out there. I made sure of myself not to expect him to want to go out with me again, for that would have been a potential set up for disappointment.

After Vincent had said his greetings, he took a couple shots and sat down on the couch, I wanted an ice breaker in order to start talking to him. I openly invited anyone who wanted to play a game of beer pong with me, hoping I would have Vincent as my partner. I had no responses until Ava volunteered to play against me, one-on-one. Hesitantly, I walked into the dining room with her and set up the table for a new game.

With a huge lead, I should’ve had this game won with only one more cup left while she still had a few more to go. But, the pressure of everyone watching struck my nerves. She caught up to me; both of us were at our last cups which tied the game. Miraculously, she made her last shot in and I had 2 chances to save myself from losing if I shot my ping pong ball into her cup. Before I made my attempt, she wanted to make a bet with me, “If you miss, you owe me a kiss.” As soon as she said that, my heart dropped. I knew I wasn’t going to make it and I didn’t come to this party to kiss another girl, especially when there was someone else I wanted to kiss more, but I have never backed down or taken back a bet. I tried my best and took my shot; some may think that I missed on purpose. When the game ended, she walked over and I paid my dues in front of everyone. But, it wasn’t just a little peck on the lips.

When she kissed me, it reminded me of how much I enjoy kissing – I kissed her back. All around us, I could hear everyone, including Felix and Chris, in awe of what was happening before them. I was shocked myself, but I went along with it anyway. Then, a comment from Vincent as he exclaimed, “Wow Ava, I’m so jealous!” At that point, my guilt had taken over while I hid it away behind a smile as I sat alone soon after we stopped kissing. I thought to myself how inconsiderate I must have been to the guys that I still care so much about: Chris, Felix, and Vincent.

Although hearts may have slightly been broken, I received kudos from all our friends for even though I’ve lost, I got to kiss someone as amazing as our friends know this girl is; she is the amazing Ava. She got the casual shrug and nod of the head as it did not come as a surprise for her close friends. This was due to the fact that she was known for this type of notorious behavior, especially while drunk.

After all the excitement had settled down, I finally sat Vincent down for a talk. The conversation felt one-sided. As I did more of the talking, he only gave short responses. There was no indication at all that it could go in the direction that I initially intended. Perhaps it was the bet that changed everything, perhaps it wasn’t. Despite the answer, I had to let it go and I was content. I’ve finally had closure from my relationship with Vincent after all that time since our break up. Vincent and I had gone back to the party, leaving everything we had together behind us and carried on peacefully throughout the rest of the night.

As one door closed, another door opened. Ava, who just loved to have a good time and still had no idea who I was or what my history was like with Felix, Chris, or Vincent, obviously wanted me to kiss her again. It seemed that elements from Felix’s story appeared to precede herself and her drunken behavior, but I didn’t mind because, after all, I just wanted to have fun. Then, I realized for the first time in my life that this was real and new to me. Kissing a girl wasn’t just for a game anymore. I couldn’t help but feel a little bit uncomfortable and shy sometimes, but for the experience and spontaneity’s sake, I went along with it and enjoyed the ride as much as I could. I can definitely say that on that night, I really did “get lucky.”

(Source: nicoleeenatalia)

I cry evertim :’) 

Via still. not. bitten.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Via K I N G O F S P A I N

Body, like the mountain
Heart, like the ocean
Mind, like the sky.

– Dogen (via considerthishippie)

(Source: awakenaslove)

Via Neurolove.me








“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”

omg yes

lol yes, so then i can shave.

Has anyone written a book about this yet? I think it’d be interesting!

     One minute, 37 seconds.
     My legs are shaking. Holy cow, there is no way I can do this. None.
     One minute, 29 secods.
     I glance around at the faces surrounding the room. Of course my Meeting would take place in the gross, overcrowded cafeteria.
     One minute, six seconds.
     Somewhere within these four walls, someone has the exact same countdown on their wrist. They’re going through the exact same pressure as me.
      54 seconds.
     Mom said I should be excited, not nervous. Yet I still find myself wiping my sweaty palms on my dress. I can’t believe she talked me into wearing a dress. I mean, shouldn’t  my Soul Mate meet me as I normally am? All plain jeans, blah shirts, and wild brown curls?
     30 seconds.
     Something deep within me tells me to stand up. I do, drawing the attention of my tablemates. They all know too. They smile encouragingly up at me. I chew my lip nervously.
     25 seconds.
     That same feeling pulls me towards the center of the room. My stomach drops away from me as I take a step in that direction.
     20 seconds.
     I continue in that direction. With each step the tempo of my heart picks up.
     19. Faster.
     18. Quicker.
     17. More rapid.
     16.  It’s racing.
     Oh my god this is it. The moment my life changes forever.
     My eyes search frantically around the cafeteria, searching for someone who looks as nervous as me. For someone who’s heading towards their future with no sense of direction like me.
     10 seconds.
     The feeling directs me slightly to the left. I turn to accomodate.
     5. My heart has given up entirely.
     4. I stop walking.
     3. Just waiting left.
     2. Everything is about to change.
     1. Deep breath.

     0000 d 00 h  00 m  00 s

     Someone bumps my shoulder. I twirl around and my gray eyes meet blue, blue ones.
     “Hello there, love. It appears as though we’re Soul Mates then, eh?”
     As my words fail me, the only thing I can think is “I’m so glad I shaved this morning.”


wowowow yeeesss


Sounds like larry doyle could do it well.
Also if this were real i wouldnt be so fucking sad

(Source: illness-and-instruments)

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